The word “trauma” gets used a lot these days — but what does it actually mean? And how do you know if what you’ve been through counts as traumatic?
The truth is, trauma is more common than most people realise. And its effects can quietly shape every area of your life — your relationships, your mood, your body, and the way you see yourself and the world — often without you even realising it.
What is trauma?
Trauma is the emotional and psychological response to an event or series of events that felt overwhelming, threatening, or deeply distressing. It’s not the event itself that defines trauma — it’s the impact it has on you.
This is an important distinction. Two people can experience the same event and be affected in completely different ways. Trauma is deeply personal, and there is no hierarchy of suffering. Your experience is valid regardless of whether others might consider it “serious enough.”
Types of trauma
Trauma generally falls into two broad categories:
Single incident trauma (Type 1) refers to a specific event such as:
- A car accident or serious injury
- A natural disaster
- A physical or sexual assault
- Witnessing violence
- A sudden bereavement or loss
Complex or developmental trauma (Type 2) refers to repeated or prolonged experiences, often occurring in childhood, such as:
- Emotional, physical or sexual abuse
- Neglect
- Growing up with a parent who struggled with addiction or mental illness
- Bullying
- Living in an unstable or unpredictable environment
Complex trauma can be particularly difficult to recognise because it becomes woven into the fabric of who you are — affecting your sense of self, your relationships, and your ability to feel safe in the world.
How does trauma affect daily life?
Trauma doesn’t stay in the past. Even years or decades later, it can continue to affect you in ways that feel confusing or hard to explain. Here are some of the most common ways trauma shows up in everyday life:
Emotional effects:
- Persistent anxiety, fear or a sense of dread
- Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
- Sudden intense emotions that feel overwhelming or out of proportion
- Depression, low mood or hopelessness
- Shame, guilt or a deep sense of worthlessness
Physical effects:
- Chronic tension, pain or fatigue
- Sleep problems — nightmares, insomnia or disturbed sleep
- A constant feeling of being on edge or hypervigilant
- Physical reactions to reminders of the trauma — racing heart, sweating, nausea
Behavioural effects:
- Avoiding people, places or situations that feel triggering
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Relying on alcohol, food, work or other behaviours to cope
- Withdrawing from relationships or pushing people away
Relational effects:
- Difficulty trusting others
- Fear of abandonment or rejection
- Patterns of unhealthy or painful relationships
- Difficulty feeling close to others or letting people in
What is PTSD?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a specific condition that can develop following a traumatic event. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, emotional numbness, and feeling constantly on alert. PTSD is more common than many people realise and is very treatable with the right therapeutic support.
Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD — but that doesn’t mean their experience is any less real or deserving of support.
What are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?
Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, refer to potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood up to the age of 17. Research has shown that ACEs — including abuse, neglect, household dysfunction, and witnessing violence — can have a profound and lasting impact on physical and mental health in adulthood.
The good news is that the effects of ACEs are not fixed. With the right support, it is absolutely possible to heal, develop resilience, and build a life that feels safe, connected and fulfilling.
Can therapy help with trauma?
Yes — and often more effectively than people expect. Trauma-informed therapy provides a safe, carefully paced space to process difficult experiences, make sense of their impact, and gradually release the hold they have on your present life.
Approaches that are particularly effective for trauma include:
- Integrative counselling — tailors the therapeutic approach to your unique needs and history
- Psychodynamic therapy — explores how past experiences are shaping present patterns
- CBT — helps challenge trauma-related thought patterns and beliefs
- Person-centred counselling — provides unconditional support and a safe space to heal at your own pace
It’s important to note that trauma therapy is always carefully paced. A good therapist will never push you to revisit experiences before you feel ready. The process is collaborative, gentle, and led by you.
You don’t have to keep carrying this alone
Many people who have experienced trauma spend years — sometimes decades — managing its effects without realising that what they’re experiencing has a name, and that help is available. If anything in this article resonates with you, please know that what you’ve been through matters, and that healing is possible.
About my practice
I’m Klara Vantrubova, an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist based in West Hampstead, London (NW6), with specialist training in trauma, ACEs and attachment. I offer a warm, safe and carefully paced space to work through difficult experiences at a pace that feels right for you.
I offer in-person sessions in West Hampstead NW6, Walk & Talk therapy in the Brondesbury area, and online sessions worldwide. I am currently accepting new clients.
👉 Book your free consultation here
Klara Vantrubova is an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist based in West Hampstead, London, offering in-person, Walk & Talk and online sessions. She specialises in anxiety, trauma, relationship issues and more.
Integrative Counselling & Psychotherapy 